What is dating violence?
Dating violence involves committing an act of violence (or threatening to do so) in a dating relationship (i.e., where the couple isn’t living together). This includes acts or threats of sexual, physical, and/or emotional/psychological abuse.
Types of abuse:
Physical: Any unnecessary/unwanted physical contact with someone which results in bodily harm, discomfort and/or injury.
Examples include:
- Hitting
- Punching
- Kicking
- Restraining
- Strangulation
- Assault with a weapon
- Withholding food or medical care
Sexual: Any type of sexual contact, to which a person does not voluntarily consent.
Examples include:
- Unwanted sexual touching
- Rape
- Coercing someone into sexual activity
- Treating a person as a sex object
Emotional/Psychological: Any act that diminishes dignity or self-worth, provokes fear, and/or intentionally inflicts psychological trauma.
Examples include:
- Yelling
- False Accusations
- Intimidation/Threats
- Degradation
- Isolating someone from friends and/or family
- Racial slurs
Other examples of abuse:
- Harming pets
- Destroying property
- Coercive use of children
- Sexual harassment
- Criminal harassment
- Financial abuse or exploitation
- Neglect
- Religious, Spiritual, and Cultural Abuse
Warning Signs
- Doesn’t listen to your thoughts and opinions and always has to have their “own way”.
- Monitors your activities and whereabouts (e.g., checks you phone and texts) and makes you “check in” with them all the time.
- Tries to keep you from seeing or talking to other people.
- Frequently degrades or criticizes you.
- Gets extremely jealous or possessive.
- Makes false accusations against you.
- Threatens to hurt you (and/or you friends or family members).
- Makes you feel nervous -as though you are always “walking on eggshells”.
- Has large mood swings (e.g., gets angry and abusive and then is sweet and apologetic).
- Is physically violent.
- Has a history of violent behaviour in their previous relationships.
- Pressures or forces you into having sex or going further sexually than you want to.
What can you do?
If you are a witness to abuse:
- Tell a reliable adult.
- Listen to the survivor and provide them with comfort and understanding.
- Encourage the survivor to get help on an ongoing basis.
If you are the abuser:
- Tell a reliable adult.
- Take responsibility for your actions –by learning and practicing different techniques for dealing with anger and frustration.
- Get help (e.g., through counselling). In the District of Parry Sound you can contact:
- Community Mental Health Services 1-800-461-5424
- Parry Sound Family Service 705-746-9789
If you are a survivor of abuse:
- Tell a reliable adult.
- Realize that you are not responsible –the abuser is the only person at fault.
- Use the “Teen Safety Plan”.
- Get Help.
- Teen Safety Plan
A safety plan helps to lower your risk of being hurt by an abuser and includes information specific to your life.
Basic Safety Plan:
- In an emergency, I can call the Police (911)
- I can also contact the local Women’s Shelter:
Name:
Phone Number:
- I can call the following friends/family at any time:
Name:
Phone Number:
Name:
Phone Number:
- This code word will alert friends/family that I need help:
- Safe places that I can go to at any time include:
Checkout our IYSISI booklet for a more detailed safety plan.
Resources & Links
Where can I get help?
Esprit Place Family Resource Centre 1-800-461-1707
Muskoka Parry Sound Sexual Assault Services 1-800-851-6662
Community Mental Health Services 1-800-461-5424
Children’s Aid Society 1-877-224-9354
Supervised Access Program 1-800-563-4201
24-Hour “Women’s Sexual Assault Help Line” 1-800-461-2929
Assaulted Women’s Helpline (154 Languages) 1-866-863-0511
Kids’ Help Phone 1-800-668-6868
Sexual Assault/Domestic Violence Treatment Centres
- North Bay General Hospital 705-474-8600, ext. 4478
- Orillia Soldier’s Memorial Hospital 1-877-377-7438
- St. Joseph’s Health Centre (Sudbury) 705-675-4743
You can also get help from: Family, Doctors, Teachers, Friends, Coaches and Peer Support Workers. If you experience any type of physical, emotional, psychological, or sexual abuse in a dating relationship, discuss with people you trust and who can help you.